In a world filled with pricey items everyone wishes they had the money for. Magazines filled with thousand dollar diamonds and gorgeous people everyone wishes they looked like. Are these the things that really matter most to you in life? Do you always want to be wishing your life away worrying about how much money you have or wanting to be the person you'll never be? I know I don't. There are many things in your life that are worth so much more than diamonds or pearls. Think about what matters most in your life. I know I would take a priceless moment over something with cost. This is because something with cost can get ruined or worn out, while a priceless moment is something you'll always have.
Finish packing the car which is stuffed to the top with suitcases. Soon everyone gets in. The clicking sounds from our seat belts. Everyone is squished in their seats. Suitcases, boogie boards, and other items are taking up a lot of space. We are all ready as we head off on the road. Everyone is so excited for the trip that awaits us. Hopefully the weather is good so we can go on the beach. We make a few rest stops. It seems like the ride is forever since we are so happy and anxious for vacation. We finally pull in the hotel parking lot. We can smell the fresh scent of the beach that is right outside the window. We can’t wait for what this trip is going to bring.
I walk over the boardwalk as the sun is shining through the bright blue sky. I place my towel down on the sand and lay on it. I can smell the SPF 30 I applied to my body earlier in the morning. Before I know it, I can feel my body heating up as the sun rays bounce of my back. There is soon a trickle of sweat down running my spine. I get up and run into the salty ocean. My body is soon cooled down and it feels so refreshing in the ocean. As I am walking back to my spot, I can feel the waves crashing up against the back of my legs, as it is pulling me off balance. As I lay back down, I can smell the salt water mist in the breeze. My feet are warm as they are buried into the soft sand particles.
Spin the clicker as it moves through many different genres of songs. From hip-hop to alternative or from country to rap, I have it all. Some minutes I am in the mood for slower songs or faster songs. When I am feeling in need of motivation before I game I usually listen to louder or more upbeat songs. On the other hand, if I am feeling down I like to listen to songs that are inspirational or not as upbeat. The head phones soon start to vibrate as a song starts to play. I say the words in my head because I know most of the words on all songs on my iPod. The song comes to an end as I scroll down with my finger searching for what I would like to listen to next. This usually goes on for about a half hour. I really enjoy listening to my iPod and I could never get tired of listening to it.
Even though the beach doesn’t have any cost, I still value it as much as my iPod. These two objects both help me relax. If I need to get things off my mind or need to calm down I turn to these objects. Listening to songs on my iPod helps me control my moods. Lying on the beach and letting the sun give me warmth makes me feel like I can shut all my troubles out and just live in the moment. Going to the beach and listening to my iPod are things that I will always want in my life. I would never want to lose these two objects.
Overall, I feel there are many more important things than how much money you have or how many expensive things you own. There is so much more in life to cherish such as priceless moments. To me, I would take a priceless moment over an expensive item because I value these moments more. These priceless moments make me feel really good when I think back at them. Things with expensive value could be gone any day; these priceless moments will be in my life forever.
4 comments:
The author is saying that many people today want to have pricey fashion items or to have better looks because that's what people value more today. The author is saying that she would choose a memorable moment over a pricey item any day because at the end of the day the items get worn out or break but the moments you make are always there.
I think she described the memorable moments the best like the one where she's going to Disneyworld and going on the beach and rides the rollercoasters. I liked this sentence the best "The roller coaster soon starts to head down. Wind is blowing from the fast speed of the coaster. Screams and laughs come from everyone. More exhilaration as we go through loops and more steep hills." I thought this sentence was well described and I can actually see what's going in the paragraph.
I thought that the strengths in this essay is its desription and its organization. I thought the author did a good job at both.
The only thing I would suggest would be to describe the valuable items more. I would describe them more because she has so much descriptions for the moments but only have like a few short paragraphs describing the items. But overall I really liked this essay!!!
The author is writing in her essay about how people want a lot of pricy things, and sometimes there outrageous, and people still feel the need to buy them.She said that she would much rather like a pricless moment or something she loves doing more than a item that has a price tag on it.
I think that lindsay described her experience on a rollercoaster well.I could picture myself on the rollercoaster going up and having those same feelings she had. "The track quickly starts to turn as the roller coaster begins going up the steep hill. Butterflies in my stomach nervous for the hill that awaits at the end of the slope. The roller coaster soon starts to head down. Wind is blowing from the fast speed of the coaster. Screams and laughs come from everyone. More exhilaration as we go through loops and more steep hills."
I think word description and imargery were the authors overall strengths. I think she made you feel as if you were there and experiencing it with her.
For further corrections, i think you should just focus on two values and expand on them. What you have her is very good but it jumps around and theres a lot of items. Other than that you did a good jobb!
Lindsay, I just thought Id let you know, i really enjoyed your essay!
The author of this essay says that she believes that moments are more valuable than an item could EVER be. I somewhat agree. Although I do have some items that I love, for teh most part, moments are more memorable and better to live by.
I really like the way you describe the beach. I feel taht this was the best described part in your essay. "I can hear the waves crashing on the shore. I can smell the salt water mist in the breeze." I can picture eveyrthing happening, just as you wrote it and I agree, this is one of the best feelings in teh world.
I believe that the strongest part of your essay was the introduction.I really liked all of your brief descriptions too, but I dont think taht it is clear enough to teh reader on what your MOST important moment or object is. You have listed several but not thoroughly described one.
Here are a few tips i have for you: make a better conclusion. I dont believe taht it is defined very well. I also am a little confused about your third paragraph. It is somewhat random and even rereading it, i still dont fully understand it.
you did a very good job though! :)
I think that Lindsay did a great job on her essay. In her introduction, she explained what the essay was going to be about. It makes the reader realize what they have and how important one item or moment could be.
Lindsay could probably improve on her word choice. Most of the essay was clear and her descriptions made sense and I could picture them both in my head. I liked the questions that she asked to grab the reader’s attention more.
She did a really great job on describing her cell phone. She must use it everyday by the way she described it. I could picture it in my head the exact way it looks like.
Overall, Lindsay did a fantastic job on her essay and there are just a little bit of improvement needed.
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